The future already exists, you just have to look for it.
Girl: *whispers* Um, your bra strap is showing...
Me: OH MY GOD
Me: NO PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE SO
Me: AHHH NOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW
Me: THAT MY BOOBS DON'T MAGICALLY STAY SUPPORTED
Me: THEY'LL KNOW
Me: I WEAR A BRA
Me: AH, NO GOD PLEASE
Math professor, last Friday: Email me when you finish sections 2.1 - 2.3 so you can take the quiz by next Friday at the latest.
Me, Monday: Finished!
Follower: I love your blog!
Me (in my head): Oh my God oh my God someone actually likes me! Oh my God I hope they're not messing with me this is the coolest thing EVER We will roll down hills and ride unicorns and bake cakeballs we will ship our unicorns together and then we will fangirl into oblivion! Oh my God oh my God this is not a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a drill! AHHHHH ASDFGHJKL
Me (on keyboard): Thank you darling, I love you too :)
When I'm with people I don't know:
What's up? Ah, nothing. I played video games, did homework, exercised, walked.
When I'm with my friends:
Did you know that if you take the genetic information out of cells they divide but never specialize? Did you know your brain will fire in the exact same way as a person your watching as if you're doing that action too? I wonder if we will ever have a civilization in space someday. Did you know of this species? Oh, do you know what makes a planet habitable to carbon life forms? Let's talk about philosophy. Anyway, I like doing math. Did you know you can explain pretty much any natural phenomenon with math? I like the chaos theory. Superconductivity is very interesting. I hope I live to see the future technologies they're talking about.
every morning: fuck my life why the shit did I go to bed so late god why do I do this to myself okay that's it tonight I'm going to bed at 6PM no excuses this is ridiculous
4 AM: well fuck
me: wow i finally understand math
moves on to next question
me: what the hell is this