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Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
As a lady scientist of color, I have felt like the impostor in the room many many times. Here are two specific things that made me want to switch out of the hard sciences when I was in college. I want to mention them because I suspect they play a part in the lack-of-women-and-minorities-in-STEM-fields issue:
#1 - Being met with incredulity when I said I didn’t know something in a science class. Nothing made me doubt my own abilities more than this. I was so shocked by this behavior when I first started taking math and science courses in college that I straight-up stopped asking questions for about two years. Ask me how much that set me back.
#2 - Asking someone about their class or their research, and they explained it in jargon that was obviously not part of my lexicon. This always made me feel like I just didn’t have the brains or background necessary to pursue the higher-level science classes that I wanted to. Also, it’s a dick move. Also also, there is no slicker way to bore someone, so just don’t do it. My advisor at Stanford, who was totally brilliant, always argued that it takes a really really smart scientist to communicate science in a way that is understandable to nonscientists. That guy publishes like it’s his job (disclaimer: it is), so take heed friends!
The real point here is that most girls are less likely to do the
- “what, you don’t know…?!?”
thing, or the
- “I’m just researching the implications for three dimensional homology jargon and filtration of jargon jargon, it’s pretty simple”
act. So when I first heard people talking like this about classes I was interested in, it was new and scary and made me feel like I was not cut out for science or math.
It wasn’t until many years later that it hit me that everyone has to learn something for the first time at some point, and asking ridiculous questions usually aids and abets this learning process.
However, I’m not one to rant about a problem without proffering a possible solution, so here is my recommendation:
Gentlemen (and ladies too!) in STEM fields, please, check your rhetorical behaviors, before you wreck the excitement and eagerness of women entering the field. Additionally, people will like talking to you better if you dispense with the jargon. I like you better already!
(also shout-out to jtotheizzoe for posting this comic. Love yr blog dude.)
Reblogging for the above comment. ^
I have met people that make fun of you for making small mistakes, and it is just incredibly rude and it gets people nowhere. Accepting that you might not know everything is when you really learn.
Why do you compare your pain, and your rough times with other peoples’ ?
You’re not them, you cannot understand someone else’s pain until you’re in their shoes. Something could mean nothing, and have minimal effect on you, and it could be devastating to another person.
Sure, there definitely are worse things that could happen to the person; but that gives you absolutely no reason to ignore their pain.
Just because their pain is not as dramatic or intense, does not mean they should grow up, ignore their pain and ignore their feelings.
I’ve spent my entire life being perfect.
I spent my entire life so far forcing myself not to cry, forcing myself to be strong; my best friend of 14 years hasn’t really even seen me cry.
I’ve wasted so many attempts that people could help me out, by ” growing up, and getting used to it”, because people told me to !
Well, you know what that does? I’m lying to myself. I put up millions of shields and detached myself from my own emotional pain; I can hardly cry now even when I feel like I should cry! Because I’ve trained myself not to.
All to prove to the people that told me to ’ grow up and get used to it and be strong’ that I could be.
Then I ended up being diagnosed with Depression, etc.
When you minimize peoples pain by comparing it to greater pains, you’re telling them that their pain does not matter and that they should ignore it.
So when you think you’re helping your friend/ family by telling them to suck it up and move on; trust me, you’re not helping.
You help them to a greater degree by sitting by them/hugging them/supporting them.
So whatever their pain is; be it misunderstanding, bullying, loneliness, loss, sexuality, whatever, DO NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GROW UP.
If you want to talk, I’ll listen.
I won’t tell you to ’ suck it up’. I spent way too much of my life pretending to be strong, to know that that only works for so long before it actually hurts you.
I will listen and try to give you advice.
Reblog if you agree, and you’ll be an open ear to ANY type of pain no matter how seemingly small.
The one thing I hate about the English language is the lack of word choice to express love.
In other languages there are words to express emotional love, unrequited longing, that moment when you’re staring at someone you love, etc.
I wonder if people realize that love does not only go to your lover, love can be a word for the love you share with your family, the love you share for your friends, the love for your hobbies or the love for what you do.
Don’t tell me that one of the first things you think of when you see the word love is romantic love; because that is what most people do think of.
In other languages, there are many words for love, respect, admiration, and other things; of course, I can’t really explain what I’m talking about in detail because there are no words to express it.
Now I understand why knowing many languages can enhance your intelligence; they are finding out that knowing more than one language can broaden your understanding of the world. Unfortunately, that mean there can be a loss in the translation between languages and cultures.
I wish there were more words for love in the English language. Maybe the reason that we so easily associate the word love with romance, is because there are no words for other types of love.
I would like to have more discussions.
If I remotely express myself on any topic—- be it science, my thoughts on pseudoscience, or even PERSONAL THOUGHTS that I would like to share—- People will sometimes randomly ignore me.
Now I don’t know if this is because people don’t really read the posts, or if people get upset by people expressing themselves… But let me tell you something. If you are avoiding someone’s opinions on a topic because ’ you don’t want to offend anyone’, you do more offense by ignoring them. If you have a differing opinion, the least you could do is tell them you disagree! Because if you just ignore them, they will come to believe that people are just ignoring them, and that is worse than just telling them you disagree.
Someone is sharing their thoughts, and I think other people should give their thoughts, even if they’re brief/short ones.
Sometimes it’s better to debate with someone than for that person to get no responses at all.
This has happened to me many times. And I’ve seen other people ( and people I follow/my followers) complain about it too !
You look beautiful without make up. Wearing make up is a choice, not something people should judge you for if you don’t wear it.
You’re not fat, you’re just healthy. In fact, majority of people look like you.
I want to be with you for who you are, not what you look like.
I don’t care if you cry, men should be able to cry when they are sad; they are humans too.
I don’t care if you’re smart woman, you don’t have to pretend that you’re dumb, in fact, I like it because I can have deep conversations with you; in fact, women should be allowed to do well in school without being ridiculed.
You are a good person, we share interests, I know what you’re thinking even if you don’t tell me; this is what a soul-mate looks like.
RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD NOT BE BUILT ON BODY IMAGE.
PEOPLE SHOULD BE TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER FOR WHO THEY ARE, AND WHAT THEY STAND FOR.
Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what a reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
Even as water carves monuments of stone, so do our thoughts shape our character
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
Character isn’t inherited. One builds it daily by the way one thinks and acts, thought by thought, action by action. If one lets fear or hate or anger take possession of the mind, they become self-forged chains.
Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Kindness in words creates confidence, Kindness in thinking creates profoundness, Kindness in giving creates love.
It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds.
Whether you be man or woman you will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
Sad is the day for any man when he becomes absolutely satisfied with the life he is living, the thoughts that he is thinking and the deeds that he is doing; when there ceases to be forever beating at the doors of his soul a desire to do something larger which he seeks and knows he was meant and intended to do.
Be absolutely clear about who you are and what you stand for. Refuse to compromise.
Never be afraid to reach for what others do not.
Be absolutely clear about who you are and what you stand for. Refuse to compromise.
Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no other is, and to do what no other can do.
In order: Ralph Waldo Emerson, Eleanor Roosevelt, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Helen Keller, Hugh B. Brown, Jackson Browne, Helen Douglas, Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Lao-Tzu, Aesop, James Allen, Phillips Brooks, Brian Tracy, William Channing.
Master ChengYen
People tend to think so collectively, as if there is a black and white line between good and evil. Nothing is ever as simple as that. I’m just proud to be part of this planet we call Earth. I’m proud to be part of this brilliant, complex and beautiful universe. We should all just be proud that we’re alive. We should be thankful we are able to be a part of this experience.
